


Eggs

by RetrobrandWheeljack



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Pranks, Vandalism, putting a car on a roof is not a good idea, sideswipe being a public menace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 19:17:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17310335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RetrobrandWheeljack/pseuds/RetrobrandWheeljack
Summary: Throwing toilet paper and eggs at a house just wasn’t good enough.





	Eggs

Entertainment on the ark was sparse. 

Which to Sideswipe was about as good as a death sentence in front of a firing squad.

And there were some activities that ended so gloriously in disaster that Prowl added them onto the Ark’s ever growing list of banned games. Like the time Wheeljack made a Cybertronian sized ping pong table, which was all fun and jovial until Cliffjumper ended up throwing his bat at Sunstreaker’s head in a fit of rage and bad sportsmanship. 

And Sunstreaker, of course, went absolutely ballistic.

They had fun scraping minibot off the walls on that particular day, Sideswipe remembered cheerily.

So, instead of playing the Prowl approved game of Monopoly (which usually ended in yelling, anyway), Sideswipe went off to find other means of entertainment.

Which lead to Sideswipe not so reluctantly agreeing to help Spike with a problem that he said would be ‘funny.’

The street they stood in, cold and foggy at 2:00 AM in the fragging morning, was still a decently nice neighborhood. That cars were boring, but Sideswipe assumed that houses like these were considered a cozy living for the squishies.

Spike tapped at his shin, and held up a carton of eggs.

“And now we throw these at his car.”

“Why don’t we throw the car at the house?”

“No.”

Sideswipe’s grin faltered, but he still gingerly accepted the eggs. They were ridiculously tiny in his hands, held awkwardly between his forefinger and thumb as he glanced over to the car Spike had jerked his thumb at.

“‘Not that I’m one to ever question a good prank, but why are we doing this?”

Spike shrugged. “He’s a dick.”

“Why is he a human genital?”

“He makes fun of Chip.” 

Sideswipe frowned, “Ah. Well. All the more reason to fuck up his day tomorrow.”

The human beamed, and pulled an egg out from his own carton.

“Exactly.”

The Lamborghini returned the look with his own smirk, before lobbing the whole carton at the white Prius. It collided with an almighty crack, bits of yoke splattering across the windshield and doors.

Spike’s own trail of eggs followed his own, the human standing triumphantly at his pede as they eagerly watched the remains of the gross human food slide down the car.

He hummed, before turning to pull something else out his backpack.

Sideswipe peered down at him curiously, giddy to see what other pranks humans could think of. So far he’d gathered that property crime was fairly popular.

The thing that Spike pulled out of his backpack, however, was spectacularly underwhelming. 

“What’s that?”

“Toilet paper. To throw over his house.”

Sideswipe tilted his head, eyeing the white paper wearily.

“That doesn’t look like it’ll do much damage.”

Spike rolled his eyes, “It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to be annoying. No one wants to clean up toilet paper from their house.”

There was a moment of silence between them, Spike still holding up the paper as Sideswipe mulled over something.

“You know what would be more annoying?” He mused.

“What?”

The frontliner did the equivalent of what Spike could only guess was supposed to be a wink, before sauntering over to the dejected Prius. 

There was a moment between Sideswipe hoisting up the car with one hand and leaning over the roof of the house where Spike belatedly realised that maybe goading the frontliner, who was notorious for being irritatingly creative with pranks- as well as with any sort of rule- was not the best idea.

“That’s in the way- get rid of that,” He muttered to himself, and Spike gawked as Sideswipe snapped the chimney off the roof and tossed it over his shoulder.

It landed somewhere in the adjacent yard with a thud.

Sideswipe hummed to himself, and precariously balanced the Prius on the pointed edge of the roof.

“Voila!”

He beamed at the human, but his grin was not returned. 

“What?”

“I wanted to ruin his day, not commit vandalism,” Spike hissed, sounding slightly hysterical.

Sideswipe shrugged, “Well, his day is definitely, one hundred percent ruined now.”

Spike ignored him. “You left footprints in the grass!” He squeaked, hands scrunched through his hair as he took several heaving breaths.

Sideswipe glanced down sheepishly. 

“Whoops.” 

The house, who had so far being blessedly silent throughout their maraud, chose that moment to flick on a bedroom light. Sideswipe heard a human grumbling- something about ‘those darn kids-, and heavy footsteps.

The human and robot shot each other an alarmed look. Spike looked like he was about to faint, eyes all but bulging in his head with the force they were using to dart between Sideswipe, the fucking car on the roof, and the shadow of his classmate’s father inside.

Sideswipe, thankfully, took the initiative to scoop Spike up, laughing nervously as he transformed, “We’ll blame the pede steps on Sunstreaker.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by that scene from a bumblebee cause god it made me laugh so god damn hard.


End file.
